The Windmills of my mind


So many mixed feelin's up in here, chil'rens.





I Don't know what's up or what's down.












I once thought I could make
sense of the world, but now I'm just spinning.








On the one hand, I feel the burning rage.
I feel fucking disgusted with Washington D.C. and the polititians and big-businessmen who are hijacking America and dragging us down the shit-stained slope toward fascism. After all the advances that so many righteous people struggled and died for throughout the 20th century. It's a fucking disgrace.
I have to thank Senators Kerry and Kennedy and the others who tried to fillibuster the nomination of the latest fascist piece of shit to be ushered down the pike, Alito.
I know that the Buddhists would say this is not right speech. But I cannot believe this is happening right before our eyes.
You can check to see who voted for or against the fillibuster here:
Senatorial Hall of Shame/Fame

Do we flee the country or stay and fight??? This is the question that currently troublesTeam Shredder.

But then again, yesterday Sea Monkey and The Capt'n paddled out to the point just in time for the big beautiful sets, and got tons of long, sweet rides, and even a couple mad rides. Sea Monkey reported that she was subjected to several bittersweet rides, as well. But that's to be expected, as she's not been able to go out as much lately. You really have to put in your time to get the mad & sweet rides. The sea can be a harsh mistress. For the time being, Sea Monkey has been demoted to Team Philosopher. As for the distinction between mad, sweet, and bittersweet rides--it's hard to esplain in words. An example of the feelin' of a mad ride can be found here, care of The Dickies.

The Hell Ward

I'm just saying--who can work so well with that shabby writing and make it into a good thing anyway? Who can be so handsome and pretty all at the same time?
Props to Daniela for doing a great job thus far.

Advice from backstage...

Yes, Old Blue here has been whoring the voice about these last couple weeks. And like any good whore, I always bring back a little something. Gleaned from a wise-but-not-wizened opera coach (and the bulletin board of an unknown Texas opera coach in one case) you might ask if these aren’t just words for the singer, but words to live by.

Match your frock to your fach
Your fach is your voice type. But not just your voice type – its also the entirety of your potential. Your fach describes how high or low you sing, the weight or character of the sound, whether you can move it around quick and easy or foghorn it for hours. Your vocal attributes are loosely attached to character traits, which glom onto a fairly simple menu of possible roles. If youre a lady you’re either the tricky little maid, the ingénue, the bad ingénue, the good woman who tries to save her man from the devil, the good woman who is a victim of circumstances like say poverty, trauma or syphlis, the good woman’s best friend, the aging woman who loses her lover, the homicidal cunt, or the pant-role. The pant-role is different from butch, by the way. Please opera queens and diva-divers, can we stop the violence? but I’ll save that conversation for another day. When you go to opera school you learn to rock your fach. What choice do you have really? If your fate makes you an ingénue or a her best friend well suck it up. Suck it up and then get your wardrobe in order. Because you might think, as I did before hearing better, you can get away with wearing a $2,000 pink Jackie O’ skirt suit for your Met Audition but let me tell you, as it was told to me, not if you’re a spinto or dramatic soprano. Not if you’re singing Lady MacBeth you won’t. You’ll hear about it from every single judge. Now maybe that notion puts you in a downward spiral into methamphetamines and self-mutilation, but buck up! There is always the lucrative field of the ugly new opera where the roles are usually distilled to neutered symbol or eroticized crazypants. Either that or some naturalistic shit where you’ll actually have to act and try to show complexity with outsized physical gestures.

Speak to everyone as if they were writing a book about you

I just glimpsed this one a couple days ago so I have yet to fully digest what this might mean. Seems like projecting a vampiric curiosity onto everyone you come into contact with could make interacting difficult. Maybe we can all try it and compare notes. I mean, if was on an opera bulletin board its prolly great advice.

The last bit of advice is actually just handy but what it really has to offer us outside that audition situation is a reminder that tips travel better in a sparkly little frame. My coach friend said to me, “I’ll tell you now what Lotfi Mansouri told Renee Flemming early on: When you go into your audition, focus on doing just one thing well.” Mmmmhmmm. Thanks Lotfi. Thanks Todd.

FILLIBUSTER!

In other words, get over it and keep calling your senators all weekend!
It's our last chance to block Alito from being nominated to the supreme court.
Monday is the deadline.
Calling does work. Thank you, New York, for flooding Hillary Clinton's office with calls. It worked.
If your senators are already supporting the fillibuster, call them again to thank them. They need to realize we care and that we are watching. The senators Snowe in Maine and Chafee in Rhode Island are pro-choice Republicans who are undecided on the fillibuster/ supporting Alito question (as far as I know.) I'm thinking they would be crucial people to call, if you know what I'm saying. Even hardcore hopeless fascist-like republican senators should be called, again so that they know we care and are watching.
I'm sorry to nag, but I'm begging you: pick up the phone!

Technology mocks me



I feel I need
I feel I need I feel I need






Trying and trying to edit my video, trying to get things done, but my computer is going haywire. Just when I was getting on a roll. Not enuf memory, even tho using xternal hard drive. I think the real issue here is: I don't know what the hell I'm doing. My usual m.o. of self-teach as I go is not serving me so well in this instance. Files are disappearing, crowding eachother, soiling eachother. I watch in helpless horror as my progeny steadily becomes more and more posessed by demons.





Being a longtime practitioner of the cultivation of the fortunate accident, I have to say I've gotten many gems in my day. But the downside of this rogueish technique is that for every lucky surprise there are at least ten disasters. Which I can accept more in other places like painting, surfing, cooking, music, interpersonal relationships, because there I can eventually figure out why things fall apart.
Not so with this computer business. It mocks me and then I have a spaz and then nothing ever changes. Insert the serenity prayer here. Security is a lie; the Buddha was right. I didn't know I was a such freakish, churchy curmudgeon untill my friend 'computer' showed me to myself. It's not a pretty sight.
I guess I'll have to skip surfing and go buy memory chunk for computer before Werkplatz, even though surfing is the very thing I probably need to get me right for tonight's face-off with computer again. I have problems! But unlike 99.9% of the world's population, they are not real problems.


(Knock on wood!)
Situation

Challenge




















Climb on it, Marsha

Listen up, chil'ren, I hear that some of you may want to try the different cleanses. While Team Shredder are certainly no experts, we can tell you what we know.
What is it you wish to cleanse? Your liver, kidneys, colon? These are kind of the three biggies, as they are the body's filters and way stations, if you will. It depends of course on your particular situation. If you're not sure what needs a boost, you can always go to a naturopath (spelling?) and get your blood and hair and piss, etc. tested. They can look at your hormone levels and go from there, or can see if you have, for example, heavy metal toxicity in your system from enviornmental pollutants (a certain friend had this from using powdered pigments in her studio practice.) But don't bum out! Most of it can be fixed. The heavy metals for example are now gone. Or an Acupuncturist can read your situation too, in other ways.
If this is too hard, you can just skip the testing and assume that everything could use a little freshening up now and then, because it's true, and then just pick and choose at your fancy.

Team Shredder wanted it all. We figured pretty much everybody probably has parasites. They're kind of everywhere. I won't list the types of foods they are most frequently found in because I don't want to ruin anybody's quality of life. It doesn't matter anyway. They're all over the place. Forget about it.
By the way, if you have hypochondriac tendencies or a history of eating disorders, always proceed with caution when doing cleanses.
Team Shredder started with a 30-day parasite purge because our research told us that even if you do other cleanses etc., what's the point if you still got those little bugs up in there, going crazy, harming things, as Mountain Man once said.
The parasite purge is incredibly easy: no change of diet or habits, just take pills that are made up of basically diatomaceous earth. It is kind of like finely ground up glass to the parasites--they eat it and it SHREDS them! It's what those "ceramic" water filters that people take to other countries are made out of, and farmers feed it to their livestock to keep the bugs at bay. It may change your #2's for a while, since all kinds of toxic stuff will be exiting your body. What we did was take #2 assistant pills (herbal) along with the parasite shredders, to assist our #2's and get those parasite carcasses O-U-T! There is a brand we like called Hsu & Co. and we ordered the pills from their website. But you can probably get it at the hippie store too.
The #2 assistant pills are called DC 1, and let me tell you, they really get things rolling. For the ultimate along those lines, do the parasite shredders (called DIA-MIN) along with the DC 1 for a month, and then for a second month do DC 1 combined with DC2, the next level. OH. MY. GOD. You will NOT BELIEVE what comes out your ass!
Toward the end of our first month of DC1 and parasite cleansing, we undertook The Master Cleanser. It's sometimes thought of as an intestinal/colon cleanse, but actually it clears out the toxins and congestion that acumulates all over the body, in the achey joints, the skin, blood, organs, everywhere. I have to say I felt fucking great after 7 days of it. You can do it for up to 40 days apparently, but I wasn't ready for all that. You can even do it for 2-3 days. But anyway, here is the booklet about it:
The Master Cleanser, by Stanley Burroughs, ISBN -0-9639262-0-9. They sell it at the hippie store.

Basically the recipie is:
2 Tbsp organic lemon or lime juice (1/2 fresh squeezed lemon)
2 Tbsp genuine maple syrup (not maple flavored sugar syrup) all grades can be used, but the darker the better as this has most minerals
1/10 Tsp cayenne pepper, or to taste
Spring or purified water

Combine the juice, maple syrup, and cayenne in a 10 oz. glass and fill with room temperature or cool water.
Drink 6 to 12 glasses of the lemonade each day. Nothing else, except plain water, mint or herbal tea. Not even vitamins.

I was impure and had black tea w/half and half in the mornings--call me crazy--and on a couple days when I got more hungry I had miso w/a little brown rice. Whatever, I still felt great, so what does it matter. And it's really not that hard to do.
There is a lot of other useful info in the little master cleanse booklet and I can't break it all down here, chil'rens, so just get the book and it will answer all of your burning questions.

Kidneys are easy: just eat nothing but watermelon for a day. Done. You can do this any time. Preferrably not imediately after a drinking binge. Give yourself a day or so to recover first.

Liver cleanses are a whole other universe. They can get serious, as in the liver/gallbladder/gallstones flush easily found online. I haven't tried this one yet--something about eat nothing but organic green apples and apple juice, water, and special herbal liver cleansing pills for a day or three, then drink 1/2 cup olive oil at bedtime and the next morning it's a gallstones and bile avalanche! I'm sure there's more to this one, and I feel this one should be done under the supervision of a trained professional, chil'ren, as freeing and passing gallstones carries a certain risk (can be painful/dangerous I guess.)
But there are many ways to freshen up the liver. Epsom salt baths draw out toxins and relieve aches and pains. Milk thistle, more apples and apple juice in general, and other herbal remedies. I personally am on "month 2" of my odyssey, so I'm taking the aforementioned DC1, DC 2 (which is basically psyllium husk, ) and "LIV-C" pills, which are herbal liver cleansers. I got all of these pill things from Hsu & Co., but I'm not trying to promote any particular company or program in any way. Look at the ingredients of these pills and you can find them elsewhere, maybe even cheaper. (Especially the psyllium husk.)
Go to an herbalist or natruropathic doctor or healer to get the best advice, and a customized cleansing program. Theres tons more approaches out there. Ayurveda in general has great things to say about getting in balance. Simple and natural. Deepak Chopra, you may or may not like him, but he is good at esplaining the Ayurveda. Gree C. Hair has more experience than me in these cleansing matters, so maybe she'll chime in.
OK I'm stopping now.

















Capt'n's Log

Subject: Two triumphs in one day

In chronological order, the first being Sea Monkey's return to the sea. Back in the saddle, she rode high atop the Snow Pony like a monkey on a surfboard at dusk's last stand. Although the water was freezing, she sternly reminded me of Rule #76: No excuses, and play like a champion. And play like a champion she did, I'll tell you what, she got out there and she got it done. It was like she'd never left, that was how comfortable she looked under the waves.
Number two was Mrs. The Capt'n's concert, where she brought a whole new, confident interpretation to Phillippe Manoury's En Echo for voice and computer. New life was breathed into this piece, lives were changed. Words that came to mind were: tender, moody, romantic, shapes & textures, worldly saint. She made me want to be a painter again, made Sea Monkey want to write.

Dear Diarhea,

I gotta stop with the beer for a while. Even just one a night gets me bloated all over again, like before the 7-day master cleanse. But I guess I've always been a beer choad. Do people really like me? 41 is really different than 29. I think I should do an abreviated version of the cleanse like once a month, 'cause I felt really good on it. The liver and colon cleanse pills are really tearing me a new one. But in a good way. I can't believe what's coming out of my ass, something old, something new, something borrowed, and deffinitely blue. All my friends are famous, they have drive and ambition, what's wrong with me?
So many things are going on, I don't know where to start.
Last night Sea Monkey and I watched Wedding Crashers another one and a half times. Our best lines right now are "Rule # 76: always follow through and play like a champion." and "yeah, you go have fun, I'm gonna go ice my balls and spit up blood. Team player." Then we waddled out the door to go to T.M.I., hosted by Anna Joy and Ali. We didn't care so much about the show, it was really to see the A's. Anna is home for 2 short days, taking a badly needed break from being the sole caregiver to her dying mom in Fresno. And Ali is still recovering from bad side effects of appendix removal surgery. I cannot believe the horror they are living right now. It's really cruel. Anyway, we only got a few blocks before getting pulled over by a cop. Broken headlight on a tattered old van filled with surfboards, on a Friday night, I guess he thought he had an easy bust. He had that nasty attitude at first like they do, and Sea Monkey got triggered for a second. Yet we stayed cool like zen masters and drove away with a just fixit ticket. After he saw that we were in fact two regular joe girls in their 40's, sober, with all the paperwork in order, he changed his tune. Of course we got to TMI too late though, after everybody was gone. Defeated but laughing, we waddled back home, back to the couch, where the Mrs. had come, after hours of rehearsal, to join us for round 3 of Wedding Crashers. Everything felt so right.
Now it's a new day, Diarhea, and me and Sea Monkey are at the pretentious cafe. They're playing a song that reminds me of Cheryl and Peggy in Amsterdam. I'm having a wave of love and missing them, a tidal wave of memories. I don't think other people are plagued with melancholic sentimentality like I am, is that why I get so stuck?
Today's plans:
1) work on "2006, the art project and science experiment,"
2) go surfing with Sea Monkey, even though it's a little breezy
3) attend Mrs. The Capt'n's concert tonight

This just in




Gree C. Hair, our esteemed east coast research assistant, has sent us pictures from an unnamed source of "what people think aliens look like," along with the following message:




dear Sea Monkey please come back

please just one more chance this time will be different








































I had to put this right back up because of the genius comment made by Mountain Man, which follows...

I look at the lady on the left and I know I know deep in my heart it is me, which is why I stay home a lot. I am a menace in my insufficient two-piece, I prefer to take hallucinogens and walk in the transparent forest of plastic bats and shadowy reunions. "It's all good. It's all good" is the refrain I both try and try not to hear.

Capt'n's Log

Subject: Patience

For two days now Satellite Varsity Team Leader Kara Lynch and I have attempted to do what we love most, only to be thwarted by
a) high wind
b) weird high tide, riptides, or something, we can't know

On day one we never went in, only sat and walked on the beach. Kara philosophically talked about Nature and the ocean being in constant flux, that we must bide our time, must learn patience. That's why she is the varsity team leader.
Day two seemed better at first. Less wind, nicely shaped waves.
"It looked good from the parking lot."
But it took forever to paddle out past the unrelenting sets. There was too much water coming at us in the high tide, too much current pulling us southward constantly. Like ants in a flushing toilet we struggled, unaided by our longboards that are too big to duck dive under the onslaught of whitewater. Kara especially was a champ since she hasn't been out since last August. Feel the icy burn, indeed.
Eventually we made it out, only to spend the next 3 hours sitting and paddling paddling paddling around in search of just the right take-off spot for the elusive, big yet mushy waves. No mad rides, no sweet rides, just a couple of lukewarm, ultimately unsatisfying lies. We did see Skip Frye out there, at least.
Later in the van as K's blue toes thawed we agreed that there were several moments during the 3 hours out there that were kind of pleasant.
Yet I, for one, have no regrets. For the rest of the day I felt that physically worked over kind of relaxed, where some of the layers of stale get power washed away. Plus friends spending time with friends is yes.

Today The Capt'n predicts much better conditions for the Team.
If we could only convince Sea Monkey to come out with us this afternoon. Somebody has a tendency to become a brain on a stick, viewing "the body" from afar, regarding it as an inconvenience to be ignored, resented, abused.
The Capt'n seems to be having a feeling about Sea Monkey not wanting to come out and play with us. Perhaps it would be more constructive if I just esplained to her how she always feels a lot happier as a disembodied face hovering above the glassy sets rolling in at sunset.
Remember, Sea Monkey?

Inspiration cures frustrated rage


I'm feeling particularly excited about Freeway Blogger right now, and I really enjoy their website and blog.

I've been thinking about doing this kind of thing for a long time now, yet not doing it, and looking at their sites gives me tons of hope and feelin's of solidarity. Which really hits the spot in this day and age if you know what I'm saying.
Now I got the whole new inspirache to get up off my ass and do it. Tonight after surfing and video editing!

Surfer angst and plus

Yes, it does exsist. Yesterday both Jenny D and I ended up with broken fins! Me because I hit a rock, and hers got busted in her house and so she had to ride her sister's winnebago of a board that is really too big for her. We have problems! I also got a harsh little gouge in my board, probably ruining the integrity of my fin box. Thank goodness it was a side fin and not the center one. $60-$80 repair at the shop. In the meantime, DIY patch job today. I've been curious about switching my board to a single fin setup anyway, (I got it as a tri-fin,) so here's my excuse.

Now that I've got you all on the edge of your seats, I must leave you hanging b/c must take a certain singer to the airport now. Somebody has a re-audition in NY for something they premiered last year. Somebody's dad said it would be like Carol Channing auditioning for Hello Dolly. But that's show biz, people. New director, new everything, but we don't worry and we don't have harsh feelings of attachment. We LOVE the librettist, and life is very good.

Team Shredder Reunion!

The Time:
Today at 3:00

The Place:
Tourmaline

The Legends:
Kara Lynch, visiting from Amherst, Mass.
Jenny D (Donovan) up from Tijuana, B.C., Mex.
Sea Monkey, She Who Has Risen From The Bed After Working Two Jobs In One Day
The Capt'n, if I can stop reading blogs and get some work done first

Music Secrets: a reader's survey


Dear Reader:
You fascinate me.


That's why the time has come for me to probe your dark psyche in search of your true Music Secrets.
Team Shredder expects nothing less than full disclosure. Your brutal honesty will pay off in untold ways as the healing powers of acceptance intermingle with the Grand Illusion otherwise known as "persona."

Tecnically, it doesn't only have to be music. Your secret love can apply to any art form.
In the interests of creating a safe space and getting things rolling, I'm providing the following earlybird data preview:

Dick Blue: Supertramp.
Explaination: Was her first taste of the rock and the roll, having been raised on mostly recordings of choral music, both great classics and sad other. Her older cousin drove her out back on his dirt/mini bike and somehow Supertramp was involved. Lives were changed.

The Capt'n: Cat Stevens and Steely Dan.
Explaination: Cat reminds her of sweeter times in the early 70's and her hippy alternative elementary school, where her teachers Hannah and Carol played it on the boom box. Steely Dan cannot be explained. May have to do with pleasant early 80's high school drug experiences, or may have to do with Zoe Strauss and "Peg."

Sea Monkey: Chicago, All That Jazz, all things Fossey.
Explaination: Her deep respect for the mostly under-appretiated talents of the performers of musical theater. Like the Hollywood stars of yesteryear, these people can sing, dance, and act, all at the same time. Plus she thinks that kind of dancing is downright sexy.

Dawn Patrol

must...wake...up...
only chance to surf today is at the crack because must go to werkplatz
...must take oppurtunity...waves back to normal this week, then again tsunami size next week...

Verna & daughter

Mrs. The Capt'n had to run out the house at the crack this morning to go to work. She went to the studio to work on her dissertation and then teach her voice students. Some people really have a grasp of that slippery elm called discipline, and we here at Team Shredder salute her. In so many ways she is the Team role model.

Speaking of role models, here is a picture of Mrs. The Capt'n's mom, Verna Van Solkema. --->

Today marks the 7th anniversary of her passing on to better parties.

Not only looking beautiful but also sounding beautiful, Verna sang with the LA Opera before stepping off the stage to have two brilliant muscian children, Juli and Pieter.
As
Mrs. The Capt'n was clicking out the house on her fierce work heels, I sleepily asked her if it would be alright if I put up something about Verna, and she smiled and said yes.























Janurary 7th was a big day


For ironically enough, it was also Mrs. The Capt'n's birthday!
So we did, in fact, have to party like it was 1989.
No access to the new photos yet, but fortunately we still have this:
How lucky are we that Mrs. The Capt'n got born?

Mom forever









Today is the 10th anniversary of my Mom's death.



Here is Roz on a fancy day in the 50's, in Philadelphia.






Learn, ladies.




























Gone fishin' down the shore; photos by her first hubbend.
Back to school, junior butches.




























Mom, John and me in Logan Circle, May '66, downtown Phila. ("Cenner City.") This was our first nature and backyard-by-proxy.



















Mom and Dad, 1975.






























Roz, circa 1990.





Love.