I know it's not constructive to beat oneself up, but it's possible that there are certain things that could be improved upon, without showing hostility or aggression toward the self.
Par example #1): one might think about cutting down on the liquor consumption. Not to give it up completely, because that's just mean and unrealistic, but perhaps a little slow down might be healthy. For a minute.
#2.) A haircut needs to happen very soon. My sense of self-worth hinges on my physical appearance, ok I said it. I mean, not really Diarhea, just kidding.
Everyone around me is super ambitious and productive. What's the big hurry? The other cars are racing me to the red light. Yet I fear and mourn the passing of time. I hate time. I can easily feel like a smiling sham half of the time, if I forget how cool I am as a person.